


Lend Me Thy (Fuzzy) Ear

by c0cunt



Series: Fuzzy Antlers, Fuzzy Ears, and Fuzzy Feelings [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deer Marco, Deer Reiner, M/M, Minor Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, POV First Person, POV Marco Bott, Relationship Advice, deerboy!Marco, deerboy!Reiner, not really minor reibert it's very there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6088426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco knows exactly who he needs to talk to, and doesn't waste any time after mating season to go speak to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lend Me Thy (Fuzzy) Ear

  Yesterday was the last day of mating season, and I was so glad to finally _finally_ not be drowning in uncontrollable hormone soup.  Unfortunately, the heavier, thicker scents still clung to everything in my house.  Windows flew open, fabrics were thrown into the tub to be washed, and I desperately needed a shower.  Having a bathtub and a separate stall shower was definitely a good idea on my part.  Maybe I’ll even splurge eventually and get a washing machine someday...Washing clothes by hand is a bit annoying, but less expensive, so I’m not sure.  Jean had never washed clothes by hand before, and I was going to show him how right before mating season began…I wanted to go see him so badly, but if he wanted to come back to my home, I would have to do some intense cleaning.  Humans couldn’t smell as well as we could, but with my nose prickling constantly, I’d rather just clean everything up now instead of leaving it for later.

 

  A few hours of cleaning, and a quick shower, I was ready to go and see if I could talk to Bertholdt.  Maybe he’d have some important insight into human courtship...Did humans have mating rituals like we did?  I’m not very sure about that...I guess I’ll ask Bertholdt.  I should be able to catch him before he heads back to humanity, if I get a move on.  It was probably somewhere close to noon by the time I made it over to their cabin, and judging by the bicycle that was leaning against their cabin, Berthold was probably still there.  All their windows were thrown open as well, and I couldn’t help my face scrunching up in distaste.  Reiner’s scent is normally very heavy, but this...Ugh.  I wonder if Bertholdt could smell it, with how strong it is.  I guess I could ask him, he usually doesn’t mind questions like that.  I didn’t have to wait too long between knocking on their door and for it to be opened.

 

  I crinkled my nose even more when Reiner opened the door, looking drained and wary at my presence, as an overwhelming wave of their mixed scents poured out.  “Reiner, your house stinks,” I complained, waving at Bertholdt who is a few steps behind Reiner, looking just as tired but a bit more welcoming.  Reiner let out a grumping noise, and attempted to close the door, but Bertholdt stopped him with a look.  They appeared to communicate silently for a second, before Reiner harumphed like an old, grumpy dog and retreated into their house.  

 

  Bertholdt stepped forward with a smile, saying “Hey there Marco, what’s up?”  I smiled in return, but sighed slightly as I stated “I’m in love.”  Reiner spluttered from somewhere inside, and thundered over to stare at me incredulously, and even Bertholdt raised an eyebrow at that.  “Remember the human I was telling you about, Reiner?  I just...I need help, how do you go about courting a human?”  I asked hurriedly, feeling my face heat up at the same rate that Reiner’s eyes lit up at.  Reiner had been just as anxiously waiting for the day I would find my mate as I had been, ever since he had found Bertholdt, and I was very prepared for the bear hug he engulfed me in, Reiner not giving half a shit about our antlers clattering together.  I wrinkled my nose, engulfed by his and Bertholdt’s mingling scent (trying to be polite and not gag from how heavy and gross it was), and tried to ignore the painful throb at the base of my left antler, that had gotten the brunt of Reiner’s ‘attack’.  After a minute of cooing and swaying from the hug, I eventually patted Reiner’s back in a “would you please get off me” way, hoping he would release me soon.  

 

  Eventually Reiner let go, holding me at arm’s length as he grinned widely at me.  “Marmar, you came to the right person!  I’m practically an expert at courting humans!”  He said loudly, and dragged me into their house, Bertholdt rolling his eyes at Reiner’s words and leaving the door open as he followed us in.  (Bless him, their house just doesn’t have enough windows to air it out fast enough.  I would’ve choked to death before being rude about their scents being too much for me to handle.  Maybe that means humans can smell how heavy our mating season scent gets?)  Reiner immediately launched into a retelling of how he and Bertholdt had met, which I tuned out as Reiner sat me down at their dining room table, instead watching as Bertholdt poured tea for the three of us.  

 

  “Don’t listen to a thing he says,” Bertholdt whispered quietly to me as he placed a teacup in front of me, “He likes to boast that he knows so much about humans because of me, but he thought that the best way to court me was to just tell me to spend mating season with him.”  Bertholdt rolled his eyes as he placed a cup in front of Reiner, who had stopped mid-sentence to stare at his mate with wide eyes.  

  “Bertl, babe...You don’t mean that do you?”  He asked, completely thunderstruck.  I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing at the deadpan look Bertholdt fixed him with as he dryly stated “You weren’t even the slightest bit romantic about it.  Don’t know why I agreed to it.”

 

  Bertholdt shook his head again, as he sat down next to me, placing his teacup in front of him as he turned more towards me.  “Well, Marco, first off, don’t do _that_ , and you won’t scare him off,”  Bertholdt started, shooting another look at Reiner (who appeared to be baffled by this revelation from his mate).  “Humans take things slower than deerpeople,” He added, swirling a spoonful of sugar into his tea, “Most of them, at least.  But who is this human?  Maybe I know them and can give you better insight on what they might like.”  I perked up at that:  I hadn’t even _considered_ that Bertholdt might know ~~my~~ Jean!

 

  “Oh!  I thought Reiner might’ve mentioned him before, sorry!” I laughed slightly, glancing quickly at Reiner (who was pouting at this point), before adding, “His name’s Jean Kirschstein, do you know him?”  I immediately leaned forward on my elbows, almost knocking over my teacup, and scooted closer to Bertholdt, whose eyebrows had risen at Jean’s name.  Not in a bad or good way, I think at least, but more in a contemplative way.

 

  “Jean Kirschstein, hmm?”  Bertholdt mumbled, pressing against my antlers gently so that I would give him some space and not accidentally poke his eye out.  I shuffled back a bit, and raised my own eyebrows at him expectantly, wriggling slightly to try to hide my impatience.  He smiled faintly at that, and hummed to himself as he slowly rattled off facts about ~~my~~ Jean.

  “He’s in the grade below me.  He’s almost been expelled twice for fighting with his friend Eren.  Gets about average scores in class, I guess, he’s not in advanced classes at least.  He’s fantastic at math though, he’d probably be in advanced classes if he put effort into it, according to Armin.  He’s high strung and generally keeps his distance from most everyone aside from a handful of people.  His father is usually away on business trips, and leaves him and his mother by themselves for months on end, so he’s close to his mother...Oh, and he has trouble holding his alcohol when he drinks with his friends.  Messy drunk.”  Bertholdt wrinkled his nose at that, and while I am concerned about that, I immediately latch onto a different thing first.

 

  “He’s almost been _expelled twice_ ?”  I squeaked, and Reiner snickered at the noise I made.  “Why didn’t he _tell me_!”  I whined, and Bertholdt shook his head with a small shrug.  “He and Eren have mellowed out a lot since sophomore year...You met him over this past summer, didn’t you?”  Bertholdt asked, tilting his head slightly, and he smiled knowingly when I nodded.  “Jean hasn’t been rising to Eren’s bait since then, but he’s also been a lot more withdrawn from his friends, not wanting to go hang out with them after school as much.  He must really like spending time with you,”  Bertholdt shrugged again, sipping on his tea before adding, “Jean at least seems a lot happier, according to Armin.”

 

  I’m not sure what to think of that.  Of course, I had constantly told Jean not to ignore his human friends and family for me, but after the first week of meeting and hanging out, he was always waiting at our clearing for me.  Bertholdt had basically just said Jean was neglecting to spend time with his friends from school, and most likely he wasn’t spending much time with his mother...On one hand, Jean _wanted_ to spend a lot of time with me, which made my heart speed up at what that could possibly mean.  On the other hand, Jean was spending time with me instead of with his family and friends, who were probably worried about his sudden withdrawal from them...I stirred my tea, just for something to do, as I worried about how to talk to him about this.  Reiner broke the silence that had surrounded the three of us.

 

  “Bertl, babe, seriously, I courted you right by human standards, yeah?”  He asked, sounding more unsure than I’d ever heard him before.  Bertholdt patted his hands gently, but didn’t exactly answer Reiner’s question as he turned to me.  “Jean would probably appreciate if you let _him_ set the pace, if he agrees to court you.  Make sure to ask him before starting to court him,”  Bertholdt said that severely, and I nodded my head rapidly as he kept speaking, wishing I’d brought a pen and paper to write it all down on.  As if reading my thoughts, Reiner slid a small spiral notebook and pen in front of me, and I shot him a grateful look as I quickly jotted down Bertholdt’s suggestions, nodding rapidly.

 

* * *

 

  A few hours of later, and my hand was starting to cramp up from writing what Bertholdt was telling me; if my hand hadn’t spent hours in the past few weeks in a similar position, it probably wouldn’t have been too terrible.  Reiner had gotten up to refill our teacups twice, and the clock above their door ticked down the time to display 4:56pm.  Judging by Reiner’s pout, I had overstayed my welcome hours ago, but I _needed_ this information from Bertholdt.  True, I could’ve waited for another day, but I was going to be seeing Jean tomorrow, and I needed to be prepared to begin courting him.

 

  “The most important thing though,”  Bertholdt said with a sigh and a sharp look, to make sure I was still listening at this point, “Is to make sure he’s interested in being with you.  I’m-” He paused, eyes and nose crinkling up in thought- “About eighty-five percent sure that Jean isn’t straight, but I could be wrong.”  I nodded rapidly, freezing when my poor left antler tilted at an extremely odd angle and into my peripheral vision.  Almost immediately, Reiner descended upon me, examining the slightly exposed pedicle as best he could.  Bertholdt looked mildly like he was about to start laughing.  I guess it probably did look funny; me with my left antler hanging on by a thread like a child’s wiggly baby tooth about to fall out, with Reiner crowding into my space to get a good look at where my antler was falling out from.  

 

  I stayed still as Reiner gently prodded at my right antler, which was still only marginally solid in its pedicle, before shrieking slightly as he thumped my upper back.  Hard.  Hard enough to knock my right antler loose, and for my left antler to go tumbling down, scratching at the table and my arm on its way down.  Reiner roared with laughter, and even Bertholdt couldn’t hold back a few little laughs that made their way out of his throat as I pouted and picked my antler up.

 

  “Y-you might want t-to hang onto that set,” Reiner spluttered between laughs, and I almost wished he would bite his tongue.  It took a few minutes of my deadpan stare before Reiner calmed himself down enough to add, without tripping over laughter, “Mama Bodt might want to save your first shed antlers after you’ve found your mate, like my mom did.”  I groaned when he mentioned my mom, and gently laid my head against their table.

  “Reinerrrrr, how do I tell my parents that I’m in love with a human?”  I whined, looking at him pleadingly as Bertholdt moved my teacup even further away.  “Well, you could always tell your parents you have a mate, and then bring Jean over for tea sometime…” Reiner said with a shrug, adding “That’s how I told my parents about Bertie, but they knew I was hanging out with a human for ages before that, so they weren’t too surprised.”

 

  I groaned at that; I could already hear my mom screeching at me for being anywhere _near_ a human, let alone courting one.  She had risen such a racket about me building my home so close to humans, (understandably being worried about me) that she might just have a heart attack when she learned of this.  “I can’t tell mom,” I whined piteously, ignoring Reiner’s eye roll in my direction, much more appreciative of Bertholdt’s murmured assurances that my mom would understand.  I knew she wouldn’t, and Reiner probably knew it too, having heard what I had been forced to grow up with.

  Reiner never had to grow up listening to a lecture about the dangers of humans; his parents weren’t like mine and many others who feared what humans could do if they found our existence.  He’d probably never sat in front of TV and watched a Leonhardt instructional video about self defense against a human attacker, nor had it drilled into his head as a button that humans were terrible creatures who couldn’t be trusted to know of our existence.  I envied how he was raised, and wondered if I would’ve progressed my relationship with Jean faster if I was taught as he was, instead of learning the garbage I was taught.

 

  Bertholdt patted my arm in sympathy, and finally said “She’ll understand, one day.”  I nodded a few times, my ears barely twitching as my right antler flopped off of my head unimpressively.  At least I _could_ tell my parents; Bertholdt was human, it wouldn’t be a good idea at all to tell his parents that he was dating a deerperson.  And, if Jean accepted my courtship, he wouldn’t be able to tell his friends or family either...But at least they could both have someone to talk to, about dating bucks like Reiner and myself.  I couldn’t help a small smile that finally appeared, imagining Jean and Bertholdt becoming great friends eventually.  I lifted my head from their table then, nodding a few more times for good measure, and stood to leave, clutching the notepad to my chest.

 

  “Thank you both so much,” I sighed, hugging Reiner tightly, then turning to hug Bertholdt just as tight (ignoring the sweat that dampened his shirt).  As I collected my antlers and carefully left their home, Reiner called out to me, “You know where to find us if you need more help, buddy.”  I waved over my shoulder back at them, rereading the notes I had taken and becoming increasingly excited at finally being able to see Jean tomorrow after a long mating season.  Hopefully he’d be as happy to see me as I was to see him.


End file.
